Selling a product online and getting people to buy it is hard work!
There’s no pill for growing pains and the constant worrying about what to do with all that extra money is very stressful.
So if you want to take some of that pressure off your back then be sure follow these tips which will instantly make your life easier and kill of all your sales.
Zero conversion rates guaranteed!
1) Make your website super slow
This would be easy to do. Load your website up with tons of very large images. Make sure the images are at least 2MB each.
If you happen to run out of massive images to load, then make sure your site doesn’t cache anything.
That way every time a user loads your website, all of the website content is downloaded again and again.
No-brainer tip: be sure to host your website on a free and shared hosting provider, this way it will be extra slow!
2) Hide all company details and contact info
In case a potential customer waited for your page to load, then make sure they have 0 reasons to trust you. Be as shady as possible.
Hide all the details about your company and how to contact you. Make sure you never mention a return policy or anything about shipping.
It’s a surefire way to kill your conversion rate.
3) Hide the clear benefit of your product
Take all of that info about the benefits of your product and throw it in the trash.
Don’t let potential customers know about the benefits of your product, let them try to figure it out themselves!
Even better, let previous customers trash your product and leave negative reviews all over your landing page.
4) Use low-quality product images
Instead of working hard on your product images leave them be. Upload whatever quality images you can find.
Low quality images show visitors that you just don’t care, making them not want to convert at all!
No-brainer tip: get your product images from Shutterstock, and make sure they still have the watermark on them. This way you’ll also be breaking the law!
5) Write fake reviews
Ever gotten an actual good review of your product? Well, it’s time to forget about those.
Write your own fake reviews and make sure you use the same wording and profile image for each of the reviews.
That way it’s 100% clear that the reviews are super fake.
6) Accept cash only
Take your customers on a nostalgic trip and accept cash as your only payment method.
Credit cards are way too 2000’s for you. Customers should send their cash by mail. If somebody still decides to convert and sends their payment in by mail, then they must be really desperate.
That’s why you can take your conversion killing spree to the next level with our next tip.
7) Never offer refunds or guarantees
Shipped out a faulty product? Maybe the customer was just not happy? Well, you don’t have to worry about that! You never mentioned a refund or any kind of a guarantee.
If anyone is about to become a customer, then make sure you remind them that there are 0 guarantees and refunds on your website.
It’s a great strategy you can use to kill your conversions!
And don’t worry about those angry customers… without that contact info, people can’t find you anyway!
8) Fill the checkout page with endless forms
Only need a shipping address and a name for checkout?
You can scrap that. Ask the customer for their mother’s maiden name, date of birth, phone number, marital status, gender, and anything else you can come up with.
The more garbage you have on your checkout page, the less likely the customer is to convert.
9) Add broken links to checkout buttons
Wait, so somebody was actually going to make a purchase?
Jokes on them! Make sure your checkout links are broken and the payment button leads users to a 404 page.
That way it’s impossible for them to convert, getting you closer to that 0% conversion rate goal!
If all the above does not work and someone still manages to make a purchase, then we have one more hot tip for you.
Make sure you under any circumstances do not say Thank You to your customers.
Otherwise, they may even return to your store and make another purchase!